This life we live in is just a board of chess we play on

I want to make a move for once in my life for someone I like but don’t have it in me to do something that may haunt my life

I’m backed up into a corner, trying to decide what move to make

Do I want to love or do I want to feel sorry for this human being I’ve been foreseeing to be

Nobody has loved me this whole time; my entire body is feeling numb to the middle thumb that I’ve grown to say fuck you to this worldview that I’m in

Am I crazy, or am I a lover

I’m feeling a little hazy trying to rediscover this passion I used to have fastened before we all wrote captions

I’m losing control of what I want to do, I find myself sitting on a cloud reading a scroll all alone, just thinking of what I would do to slip away

Are you just a castaway falling from the sky, not knowing who the fuck is going to love you when you die

When you die, will you have peace, or will you regret not seizing the moment you could have had to bring all the components of who you are to another

You want that girl, so why don’t you get her, don’t get caught up in the swirl you create for yourself to convince yourself that you are not enough

Do you think it’s a bluff, I will do it, I will end this life of mine, or will I try to redesign this mind so it can align with the person I hope one day I can find

I’m just afraid to be me, just playing a game of charades to claim that I can never build a flame that I can’t tame

A flame with another, that moment you lock eyes, and the world feels calm, no more being curled up in a ball too afraid to see that love

Love is to be unloved and shoved in the darkness of your mind to sit and find a light that is confined to a corner that may end this horror

Oh, she is beautiful, that light that I’ve seen from afar but beauty is not what defines her

The rules of beautiful are being dissolved in front of my eyes, this brightness that can’t be analyzed by any eyes other than mine

Will, I ever feel her touch

Who knows, maybe I will get out of my way

Perhaps I will try to pursue this happiness with another who may be far from my existence or who may be in my life at this moment and not realize that she is who I have been looking for this whole time