I don't know what to do if I keep putting myself down. It's not what others think how much I want to say or in other words needing the help to at least talk to someone. A good listener that would know what to say. I could've known better from the start I turned 13. If I could go back, it would be a fresh start to fix my mistakes. I wish I never disrespected anyone. What's worse is disrespecting myself not knowing well enough why its important to educate myself. What my parents have been trying to tell me to not worry about anything else and concentrate more on school, my future. Ever since I realized that I have been very busy. I became a very busy person for a reason. I started volunteering more. I joined sports. I'm gonna be honest for the love of God, I wasn't that busy at all last year. Freshman year I wasted my time worrying about things I shouldn't think about or doing because thats how I lost my mentality in doing things. I regret wasting my time so I decided to start my life. I noticed how much I changed this year. I volunteer in helping the church more, baking, cooking, running, homework, saving my money, thinking about college, and math. I respect myself by giving my parents trust, being honest to my parents, finally communicating with them about my problems and how I feel often. By respecting myself I focus more on my education rather than thinking about men. That can be later in life after I get into college because now I am doing really good being on my own. I also learned my lesson about that it is not worth it letting someone you knew put you down. All I should have right now is my mom, dad, my sister karizma, and my only true best friend bri. I feel free because now I don't feel trapped as last year, no more lies no more heart breaks no more trauma no more suprises no more depression. Just me and my family in peace safely.